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Jan. 30th, 2009

kings of leon last night, holy shit. they closed the set before the encore with trani, and they fucking just rocked that shit. it was epic. my mouth was just hanging open because i was so mesmerized by the awesomeness of the music. i nearly lost myself when they played milk. it was just amazing. <333333333333333333
this new band of horses single is blowing me away.

oh my.

so i saw hilary duff last night. i got the tickets about 5 hrs before the show. the tickets shouldve been like 80 each but were 45 for orchestra. our seats were spectacular. i ran to the stage when hilary approached. i'm still in awe. i have video of her doing 'love is a battlefield' complete with group dancing. i also took a video of stranger.

she opened with play with fire and then like 2 songs played the getaway. <3

i'm still ecstatic.

Hm.

Things I want to go to and want company for:

7/21 - Sitting on the beach @ jones beach to listen to Lifehouse
8/4 - Aly & AJ @ jones beach.
8/6 - MUSE @ MSG (this is a must)
9/14 - Interpol @ MSG (seriously? MSG?)
10/20- Spoon @ Roseland

i love this aly and aj song. FYI.

oh and OBVIOUSLY:
8/27 - Hilary @ Radio City

woo what a weekend.

so yeah. bamboozle. i'm sunburned like a mother. like my face almost matches my hair color. but it was definitely worth it.

let see, TREOS was good, the pink spiders were awesome, men women and children rocked (they had a dance pit and had a party train going, it was awe-some), the spill canvas is no longer acoustic which threw me off, MC Hammer was hysterical, Saves the Day was good, and Muse fucking rocked my socks. For Hammer, Saves The Day (std. hahaha i just realized that), and Muse i was up front for it all. Muse holy shit. Muse. Amazing. Getting my ass kicked for being up front was definitely worth it. There are no words for how awesome they were. I'm so enamored by them currently. Met up with Oz and his friend, was great to see him again, its definitely been quite a while since i last saw him. sad.

next day ash and i got there really early and met up with Cassie. when they finally let us in we sprinted for brand new. Got really close again, they played the same song twice, but played seventy times seven to fuck with TBS so it was sooooo worth it. After brand new we met up with Oz again and me, him, and Ashley all danced to Young Love (who was GREAT) with a person in a chicken costume and alot of other people. The rest of the day was meh. We left early. Got home, slept, here i am.

i bought 2 brand new tickets to the donkey, so stoked!

Ugh.

so i hate the world currently. everything was going well until friday, when i got 3 wisdom teeth out. i wasn't really worried about it because i had one taken out before but it wasnt a big deal. silly me. the only way i've gotten through these past few days without killing myself is from the vicodin. now that they're gone i had to face reality. here it is tues/wed, my face is still swollen, my mouth still hurts, its difficult to talk, certain areas of my face is numb, all i can eat is ice cream, etc.

so finally sick of this i call the surgeons office and they tell me to come in. they take out my stitches which hurt, alot. then he tells me that i have a dry socket, which is why i'm in so much pain and my face is still swollen. then im like 'well why is my face numb' and he was like 'we probably hit a nerve or something, hopefully you should regain feeling in 6 months, if not then unfortunately it might be permanent' !!!! SERIOUSLY!? Then he proceeds to jam medicated gauze into my 'dry socket' and i just start hysterically crying. I am NOT one to cry in public, or to cry really at all, but the combination of the constant pain plus him telling me i may never feel my lips or chin again was too much. He keeps talking to me but i can't stop crying, he tells me to come back friday afternoon and i just run out of there to my car.

Now i really thought i had the crying under control so i went to the islip sbux to pick up my tips but this kid there kevin was like 'holy shit your face!' (meaning my swollen cheeks) and then continues on to say 'you look like you've been crying' which just fucking got me going again. not too bad but michelle takes me outside and i just start bawling again. i felt like such an asshole. i tell her i need to go because its rediculous i cannot control myself. i make it home. still crying. drew calls me and i can't answer because i'm hysterical. finally i calm down again just in time. he shows up, then chris shows up. i see joe cole score the winning goal for the chelsea game then we watched Chinatown together and then i let them play wii.

All is well until my dad comes home and i throw another pity party for myself. Seriously. I called out of work hysterically crying to my manager 'Carrie, are you ok?' 'NO, I'm not OK Joe.' More feeling like an asshole for crying on the phone to him.

I know this sounds so rediculous and stupid. Its just wisdom teeth and everyone goes through this. But having this much fucking pain for so long and then knowing that i may never feel my lips again, i'm sorry but its all too much for me right now. Add this shit on top of personal problems i've been having with certain boys lately, and it really is too much. I have one person telling me he can't even be my friend anymore, another one telling me hes in love with me. What the hell. I really want to take a few weeks off, go away, and come back with a tan and a new outlook on life. I need an escape, I need to deal with my issues. I need to be left alone, but at the same time, I don't want to be alone. Ugh.

well now,

bruce came in to starbucks tonight and told me to update. hi everyone. i miss you all. i'm sorry i'm a terrible friend, i suck at life, i know. all i do is work and sleep. and when i'm not sleeping or working, i'm probably laying in bed thinking about sleep or work. i had bronchitis and the flu for like 2 weeks which blew but i'm recovering from that.

the biggest update i guess is that i'm taking a roadtrip across the country with my co-worker mike. march 28th i leave, and won't be back until april 28th. maybe a little earlier, maybe a little later. i'm not that sure.

someone told me that the body only heals when you sleep between 10pm and 2am. so i'm assuming thats why i'm so fucked up right now, and have been for awhile. i'm not fucked up per-se, but i'm definitely not anywhere near okay. if that makes sense.

i just got off work and will continue to be up until 8am. it really fucking sucks.

dawn, if you're reading this, i miss you so much. everyday i mean to call you but the next second i forget or i need to shower or do laundry or something and get side tracked. where did you go? i really need to see you soon. its been too long. i miss my big sister.

michael, if you're reading this, i miss you as well. blood and chocolate was terrible, i downloaded it and was glad i didn't pay to see it. but i appreciate the invitations you send, and if you keep sending them i'm sure one time i'll be able to come to something eventually. don't give up on me.

uhm. thats about it. i got a wii. thats about as exciting as my life is. happy now bruce?

Wow.

So i went to the peace protest in DC today and I just have to say it was probably one of the coolest things i've ever been to and bared witness to. Everyone there was so interesting and the weather was gorgeous and i have funny pictures. I fell in love with this old women who was all decked out in like neon green leggings with black shorts over them and a beret and jacket with big floppy crocheted flowers on them. She was right there with everyone pumping her fist as much as she could and shouting some chants. It was probably the cutest thing i've ever seen.

I went with my friend Laura, her friend Melanie, Melanies girlfriend Cindy, and about 6 other kids from Lauras high school and their significant others. 3 cars. We were supposed to leave at 5am today but i get a call at 8pm last night asking if i could be ready in 2 hrs to leave and just get a hotel room. I was out with Greg just driving around and bullshitting so I said sure. We all meet up and i'm suprised to find out that there are 3 cars going. So we get on the road and of course at the first rest stop we stopped at yesterday night on our way down, 1 of the cars doesnt start back again. Of course. Thank goodness for the kindness of strangers! This man knew just what to do, i was shocked. We finally get to DC at like 430am. We wake up at 10am and walk down to the capital by 1. We experience everything. Drums, celebs (jane fonda, susan sarandon, sean penn, etc.) , renegade cheerleaders, hippies, anti-anti-war protestors (one being a like 17 year old boy whose retort was "go get a haricut" to some guy with dreads and how there really WERE weapons of mass destruction since he read it in a book. priceless, let me tell you.), and really gorgeous guys. We talked to everyone and anyone, i loved the vibe and the general niceness of everyone there.

Of course now its 1145pm and i have to go to work at 1am until 615am. Of course I'm exhausted and probably developing what feels like bronchitis. I'm sure none of this makes sense because i'm obviously deliriously sleep deprived, but oh well. I have pictures!

an update?

i definitely slept from 630pm-9am this morning. going without sleep for a few days can apparently do this to you.

i'm so bored on my days off. i'm not enjoying my book so i'm not reading it, instead i'm doing household chores like my laundry and the dishes. but on the flip side, its nice not running around to work and around the farmingdale area in general. but i'm still bored with nothing to do.

the managers at my store gave me the partner of the quarter award. i find that very amusing.

gary wants me to come over tonight. i said yes but i think i'm gonna cancel. its a bad idea.

i went with ashley to get her tattoo yesterday which of course makes me start thinking about my future tattoos. shane said he wont tattoo my foot in the winter. boo hiss.

i still wish i had a swingset.

i just spent 100 on snow patrol tickets and immediately regretted that decision.
oh man. so last night was awesome/bad. i go to applebees with paul and tommy and i had fun. then i almost decide to go straight to work but then harlan says theres only 10 people at the vintage lounge. so i floor it over there and just as we get there albert hammond jr (of the strokes) goes on. he plays 9 teriffic songs. i'm in <3 with them all. after the show harlan hooks it up and i get a picture with him. yayy.

so i'm on my strokes high and i get to work around 1230. at around 145 we decide it would be great to re-arrange the lobby. so were moving everything around. i go to move a garbage can, and next thing i know my finger hurts and is gushing blood. so from about 2-245 i was gushing blood. there was me, a trainee, my assistant manager, and another worker there luckily. so we all decide its best to go to the hospital to stop the bleeding. so the trainee takes me to mid island hospital and my asm and the girl stay behind to work. i am offered stitches or a splint, i went for the less painful option and voted for the splint. but i cant move my finger or get it wet for 10 days. and it is perpetually stinging.

so im screwed at work since well, i work with liquids. and of course my review is tomorrow. my managers gonna think im an worthless.

3eb with Tina tonight then i'm gonna head over to starbucks to make up some hours. without touching garbage cans.

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